the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
