so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
