he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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