I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
