But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
