the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
