i jhust puked up my retainher.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
