Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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