Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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