He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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