I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
