the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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