i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You left your phone here
Wait...
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
