yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
