Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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