I am in a vortex of obligation.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
