worst night to have a conscience
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
