Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(646): View more from New York

My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay

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(816): View more from Missouri

if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?

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(520): View more from Arizona

I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.

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(719): View more from Colorado

These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69

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(760): View more from California

We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway

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