Yo dont text me then not text me
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
BRING THE BAGELS
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
