Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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