I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
