They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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