Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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