I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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