so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
