So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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