it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
