Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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