so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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