tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Randomize
