Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Boobs speak an international language.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Randomize
