lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I didn't shave. On purpose
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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