if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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