I think im going to throw up on grandma
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
