forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
