At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
