Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Randomize
