I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize