Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
