Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
