he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Let the clothes fall where they may.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
