So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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