The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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