Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
