literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
