Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
My life is pants optional.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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