i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
