hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
