Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(970): View more from Colorado

Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?

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(718): View more from New York

Barsexuality is the new black.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!

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(818): View more from California

you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me

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(714): View more from California

I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.

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(716): View more from New York

sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner

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(415): View more from California

He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished

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(702): View more from Nevada

I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass

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