OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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