don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
