I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I looked at my own cervix.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
