Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize