My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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