i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
