I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
