Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
