i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
