Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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