Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
