[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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