there was a trapeze. enough said
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
