i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize