I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
