arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
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