i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
