I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
He? As in you personified your dick?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
