On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
honey bunches of taint.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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