I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Randomize