Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
You are a genius and a whore.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
