We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
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