I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
