My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Its about making memories worth repressing
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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