This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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