Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
