On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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