Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
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